I came across a poem I've loved for years.  It's called "A Birthday Wish" by Dorothy Nell McDonald.  Even though it's supposed to be presented to a person on the occasion of their birthday, I found it meaningful during this grieving time, for some reason.

I do not wish you joy without a sorrow
Or endless day without the healing dark.
Nor brilliant sun without the restful shadow
Nor tides that never turn against your bark.
I wish you faith and strength
and love and wisdom,
Goods gold enough to help some needy one.
I wish you songs but also blessed silence
And God's sweet peace when every day is done.