I ventured out to a community event alone last night. It was a fund-raising auction and supper for a little boy with cancer.  Our little town always comes through for these events; I don't know the total but I know it must have been a LOT.

My new budget wouldn't let me bid on the terrific stuff that was offered, but I was able to buy the meal and donate a couple of items.  Budget matters are among the things that I have to get used to, living in my new normal. 

I didn't have a lot of trouble through the meal because I sat with friends and saw lots of folks I haven't run into since LeRoy's funeral.  The hugs all felt so good.  After awhile, though, I just developed the feeling that I shouldn't be there.  Maybe it's just going to take some time to get used to this "singleness" status after 46 years of being half of a couple.  Others have survived this and I will, too.  Meanwhile, I keep looking up.