I'm feeling strange today - lonesome but grateful that son Rich is here; nostalgic but not exactly sad; misplaced somehow. Last night Rich and I attended the lovely supper and terrific candlelight service at Faith Bible church. The congregation sang "O Holy Night" while candles were lit, so I got to sing it after all. Good thing it wasn't a solo, though, because I broke down during the chorus. LeRoy used to beg me to practice that just "one more time" and I could see his face in the pew, even though we were in a completely different church. I hope he heard it and knew I was missing him and thinking of him.
A couple of days ago, my new devotional "Hope for an Aching Heart" by Margaret Nyman addressed the issue of tears. Here is an excerpt that I found particularly comforting:
"God created us to live forever. (In the garden of Eden.) When death aborts life, something inside us goes askew.
Will there ever be an end to our tears over death's apparent victory?
Jesus said, 'Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life.' (John 5:24)
God hasn't changed His mind about us living forever, but because of sin, He needed to make an adjustment to His original plan. Now most of us will suffer through earthly death to gain eternal life. But if we do things God's way by entrusting our lives to His Son, then death simply becomes the passageway to a death-free life... exactly as He first intended.
In this death-free life, unexpected tears will never occur again (Rev. 21:4).
Weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5
Lord, I'm glad you will one day abolish death and eliminate sorrow. Until then, I trust you to love me through my tears,"
I'm still looking up. Sometimes through tears, but looking up.
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